Almost giving up...

[Mood] :{ (Can I scream from the top of my lungs?)

Almost losing it. I feel I'm almost losing it. The last 18 units from the university seem like the hardest. I'm totally losing it. God, I wish there was a way out of this mess. Work is so demanding, my whole family is breathing down my neck (I wish they knew the truth of how everyday seems to be so agonizing). Sometimes, I wish I could just leap out of the window from the 21st floor. That's something not everybody can experience. Yet, thankfully I still think it's so unglamorous to be disfigured inside your own coffin. hahaha, how can I afford to make such a remark. shit. I wish it were easier to balance this whole act. I'm almost losing it. My life is a mess. I'm in this state in my life that the only time I have which does not concern work or school is during gym in the morning. How pathetic is that?! And who loves gym anyway? If I can get a great body without going to the gym, I would, but alas, vanity has either a high price tag or takes so much effort and time. Time which I don't have. time which I could use to sleep. Sleep, yes sleep, I haven't had much of that. It seems my body yearns to sleep the day. get depressed again and forget the world. have I told you that sleeping too much causes depression? Trust me, I've been there. Somehow, beyond the good pay at work, there's just no justification for the shit I'm into. God, I'm losing it. I just wanna run away. I've had days where I wish I could run away from home. But I wouldn't want to break my family's heart. Fucking heart. i wish I felt less emotions. Why does life have to be so painfully shitty. Will life give me another chance? Somehow, I feel I've used up all my chances in life. God, have you given up on me?! Somehow makes me wonder if God ever did exist. For a while, I stopped from writing this entry when I asked if God truly existed. I guess I could never really blame the world from hating God. He never showed his face to us after all.




Though Chain: Even though I ask questions on God's existence, I still try to believe He's just right there reading my rants and raves as I publish this entry. I need a miracle right now. I need more time. Where's my life?

Working in the Dark + Freaky Tuko = Freaked out me

[Mood] :, (Not really afraid, just freaked out. hehehe)

I slept at around 9pm last night 'coz my tummy was still aching after we went to Binondo and ate chinese food. I don't know if it was just indigestion or the food was improperly handled, but my tummy was aching and I was experiencing a watery day in the toilet. hahaha.

Anyway, my tummy isn't that bad anymore when i woke up at 2:30 am this morning, and so I decided to work and finish the few stuff I haven't finished dealing with. I opened my laptop and decided not to turn of the light to save electricity. After checking my email and answering to some, I heard this faint tuko sound outside my window. Arggghhhhh!!! kainis! 3:30 am and there's a freaky tuko (and we all know what a tuko implies)! I opened the light and went down to the dining room to work there instead. hahaha. Nope, I'm not scared, just freaked out. It's like not expected that you'd see or hear a tuko in our place anymore considering that San Pedro is already so densely populated (and dirty, hahaha).




Though Chain: Ano kayang nakain ko sa Binondo? All I ate were some dumplings, rice, tofu and an almond cake. I hope the food wasn't contaminated. Matapang naman kasi tiyan ko eh.

Bad news and Good news

[Mood] :| (pwede bang itapon na yang G-Pass na yan??!!)

The Bad news:

Aside from charging Globe G-Pass users and additional 5% surcharge per ride in the MRT, Globe is now gonna charge an additional 1% for every reload a G-Pass user makes. Ano ba yan?! pwera na nga sa may extra charge ang pagsakay, pati ba naman sa pagreload eh may bayad din?! Kakainis! I-boycott na nga yang G-Pass na yan! Besides, Globe has not yet called me regarding my 2-month overdue problem with my incorrect G-Pass deductions. Ganun ba kayo ka-cheap na hindi nyo ma-credit back yung maling dinebit nyo sa G-Pass ko?! I guess your one-man investigation team (hahaha) is taking ages to process your millions of complaints.


The Good news:

My boss just talked to me today, and am now happy with what we discussed about work. Kung ano yun, sa akin nalang yun! secret! hahaha. Tawagan nyo nalang ako kung gusto nyong malaman kung ano. hehehe.



Though Chain: Wasn't able to go to gym today... darn it! I'm so busy kasi. and so sleepy too. hehehe